National Domestic Violence Awareness Month Day 15

If you or know someone in need of information and resources call 800-799-7233 or 800-787-3224 or visit www.safe4all.org

One woman answered my call for stories about their experience in a marriage rife with domestic violence. I thank her again for her strength and courage by allowing me to share her story from a firsthand perspective. I still believe storytelling is the most effective way for survivors (and friends/family members too) not only to heal, but make domestic violence/intimate partner violence real so law and policy makers take notice when writing laws and implementing programs. We still have a long way to go, so I ask that you please take the time to share and continue to raise awareness to this issue. Remember domestic violence happens to any1 anywhere @anytime.

This is her story.

“Yes......! At first you think the falling in love stage is "falling in love" when in fact in some cases it is a control weapon....so it first starts out as grab the emotions....! So when that's rooted sooooo deep....and that seed is planted...sooooo deep that is what makes the victim confused and wants so much to stay sometimes to "fix" the problem....because what we thought was love was not it was called "control"! The man I was married to.....the man who has the record....the man who did everything was and still friends with everyone we went to school with! When I came out about the story and what was happening I needed to move out of county because of his power...money and friends and family! So....I would love to write something tell my story maybe from an unknown or in a way to protect my identity....! I would love to shout out how the children and I survived the "system" and went on and still fighting Demons it would help so many!”

 If you would like to add your story, please go to my facebook page and message me privately.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month Day 13

If you or know someone in need of information and resources call 800-799-7233 or 800-787-3224 or visit www.safe4all.org You are probably wondering why I did not post yesterday, well it was to honor the one woman who did not survive her abusers abuse. She could have been a wife, mother, sister, aunt, cousin, friend, neighbor, co-worker, business owner, teacher, doctor, nurse, and so on. Statistics show 1 in 4 women are being abused. You never knew what she was experiencing behind closed doors as she never shared with anyone the hell she was living in at home. She felt ashamed, she had hoped her abuser was going to change, she stayed because of the kids, she did not think she was being abused. Abusers have considerable control over their victims. It never feels like abuse when the abuser is sorry and remorseful afterwards. They leave you flowers, take you out to dinner, tell you they love you. Until it happens again, you begin to doubt them, question yourself and hope it is not the same old song being played again. For a lot of us this is what it feels like when we are in this cycle. Through my facebook page and this blog, I have been encouraging readers to share their stories in ways they feel safe and comfortable. At first I thought maybe it’s best to tell the story through pictures, but I felt that only shows one dimension of abuse: the physical. By now, I hope you recognize that abuse is more than just that. I then solicited written pieces. I recognize that there are risks when doing that in fear of being identified or recognized. This is why you will never see names or locations of where these posts are from unless they express otherwise. I also acknowledge as one reader wrote “how hard it was to read” about as they could never see themselves engaging in the same abusive ways abusers do. That made me question, what is an effective way of bringing awareness to domestic/intimate partner violence? Is my page too graphic or explicit? Should I tone it down? I am still unsure of the answer, but I appreciate the feedback.